Back to school after Christmas break: new rules, old madness. Post-Christmas on-line staff meetings have reached unbelievable levels of senselessness this year. Here is a sheer example.
Principal (smiling): Welcome back to school. Can you hear me? Yes? Good. I have had some problems with my connection this morning……So, we are gathered here today to implement the new dispositions from the Ministry of Education which have just been dispatched……
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Maria) : Here is yet another scam! To be sure. Ready?😤
( Mick) : You bet!😤
Principal: (keeps talking)….. the teaching activity will continue in presence, with the obligation to wear FFP2 type masks.
Teacher WhatsApp chat ( Mick) : with 220.000 cases per day, in presence!!!😤
(Susan) : they want us dead!😲
(Maria) : wear the mask and go to war, well , I mean, to work! 😆
Principal: (keeps talking ) …….yet, I am afraid we have no such masks at the moment. We have piles of boxes full of chirurgical masks, actually, nobody wants to wear, but I am confident FFp2 masks will be sent soon.
Mick: Soon, when?🤔
Principal ( a bit annoyed): I don’t know. Soon!
Mick : That means never.😤
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Marco): Good point, Mick!
(Susan): so it is mandatory to wear masks we are not provided with!
(Maria) : What did I tell you?
(Lory) : I have been wearing FFp2 masks since… ever, so far nothing new .
(Marco): all right, but if it is mandatory at work, I expect my employer to provide for them.🤨
Pricipal: (still talking)“that is all………..Do you have any comment?”
Teachers (at unison) : Nope.😑
Principal: (hesitating) And…….there is the question of the recess. Starting from tomorrow students will be allowed to consume their meals only outside school. As a distance of at least two meters is to be guaranteed……
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Maria) : two meters?🙄
(Lory) : Can you figure the scene?🤣
(Marco) : it may work only if we were provided with a whip too!!
(Mrs Tink) : or if we made marks of the ground!
(Susan) : or if we played green light/red light like in Squid Game!
(Mrs Tink ): I would enjoy to be the doll! That would be really fun.
(Mick) : a class a thirty should require a 150 square meters to keep such distance, multiplied by 26 makes……………3.900 square meters!😧
Principal (keeps talking): ………. the mask outdoors can be lowered only for the time strictly necessary to eat meals .
Mrs Tink: What if it rains?😒
Principal: In case of rain, students will remain inside the school premises. Of course, they won’t be allowed to have their meals, unless the two meter distance is kept.
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Susan) : so now you need two meter distance to eat, after having abolished school distancing. This is madness.
(Mick) : I will never be in class while they eat, for sure.
(Marco) : This is just ridiculous!
Principal (scanning the screen) Any questions?
Teachers ( at unison) Nope.😑
Principal: ( talking her time) Yet.…we have studied a way to save recess………….😏
Teacher WhatsApp chat ( Mick) : Have they? I can’t way a second more!🤨
(Maria) : Are you ready for another chaotic procedure?
Principal: First of all, the rooms occupied by the students are to be carefully ventilated….
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Marco): nothing new, what have we been doing so far?
(Susan): there is more , for sure.
Principal (keeps talking) : ……………. student could have their snacks in turn….. in alternate rows, and …. in each row………..every two desks . Of course, they will never have to move from the assigned station and they will be allowed to lower their masks only for the time necessary to eat.
Mrs Tink: but as we have only 20 minute recess,15, actually, or less if you consider the time we need to have the rooms ventilated, they would have only 3 minutes to eat, more or less.😮
Principal: More, Mrs Tink, as there are many of them quarantined and follow classes from remote.
Mary: But they will come back from their quarantines sooner or later!
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Mrs Tink): I don’t give a damn, I will let them starve .😈
(Susan) : So will I. What have we become? Guardians? Cops? Janitors?
Principal (cutting short): ……talking about quarantines, I want to remind you that with two Covid cases in the same class, on-line teaching must be provided for those who have not had their booster dose yet . In case more than 120 days have passed since the vaccination cycle has been completed or virus recovery, the quarantine will last 10 days and it will be possible to come back to school only after being tested negative.
Mick: And what about the others?
Principal : All the others will continue the activities in presence wearing FFp2 masks for 10 days . If the cases in the same class are three, on-line learning will be provided for ten days for the entire class.
Teacher WhatsApp chat: (Mrs Tink) More than 120, less than 120….I am lost!😵
(Susan) My head spins.😵😵
Mick: but what about the matter of privacy? We had been clearly told at the very beginning of the school year that we were ABSOLUTELY forbidden to make enquires in matter of vaccines, and now I am entitled to pry even into the timing of their choices!😠
Principal: Things change!
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Mick): for worse!😠
Principal: One thing more….😇
Teacher WhatsApp chat (Susan): it’s not over yet!
(Maria): this is a nightmare!😲
Principal: well, in case, you, dear teachers, haven’t had your booster dose yet and more than 5 months have passed since your last jab, if you are quarantined (hesitates) …ehm… you won’t be paid……ehm…. for the time you have to stay at home (coughs).
Mrs Tink: What?🤬 You mean that if a couple of these brats from one of my classes are infected, I may end up quarantined and unpaid, despite my booster dose has been scheduled for the end of the month, because more than 5 months have passed?
Principal: It is the law.😑
Mrs Tink: it is the law of two days ago, nonetheless, my Green Pass won’t expire before February.
Principal (smiling): Sorry I can’t hear you. There must be some problems with the line again. I see you want ask que…..que……..stions, but , really………. I can’t hear……………. you. (The image freezes. The principal vanishes).
Teacher WhatsApp chat: (Susan) :This is outrageous!😤
(Mick ) :This cannot be endured!😤
(Maria) : This cannot be borne!😡
(Mrs Tink ) : This …….ahhh…I see there is a chance I might anticipate my jab on January 20th 6:15 p.m.!
(Susan): It’s today!
(Tink) : So, I have only 20 minutes…. Byeee!!!🥺
After all the show……oopss…… school must go on.